A Midweek Monologue...

Ok, so it's not technically mid-week since it's only Monday... but my weight loss tracking weeks go from Saturdays to Fridays so it's mid-weekish to me.  But something sort of important has happened and I need to talk about it.


Among the things I purchased this week...


A scale.


The first scale I've owned in more than 5 years...


The first scale I've stepped on in almost 2 years...


And I thought it would be a lot harder than it was.  I've been putting off my "before" weigh-in because I've been terrified of that number.  When I signed up for The Daily Plate... I guestimated.  And although I'm not sure if I'm pleased or horrified-- I was only off by 2 pounds.


And I also know that as recently as Friday I said I wouldn't post that number.  But the truth is.. how can I be held accountable for this if I don't allow other people to know where I've begun?


It's an extension of the reasoning that led to my buying the scale in the first place.  How can I know how far I've gone if I don't know where I started?


So much of this journey is because I feel like this body does not belong to me.  That it doesn't reflect who I am on the inside.  So that number on the scale... isn't really MY weight.  It's the weight of the fat girl I've already excised from my heart and mind.  So that number actually has very little to do with ME.


It's just the place where I begin.






































367.2 lbs.




This is where I begin.




But don't blink, I won't be here for long.