Sunday, August 29, 2010

Week Eighteen Ends, Week Nineteen Begins

   I don't have much to say here today.  I realize that's becoming something of a habit.  As far as my weight stuff goes, it has slowed down-- but not stopped.  Last time I weighed myself (last wednesday I believe) I finally broke the 30lb mark.  Total loss was 31.8 lbs.   This week was a challenge primarily because I was suffering from a nasty sinus infection which had me out of work for 2 days... and pms which meant that while I was home for two days I was CONSTANTLY hungry and craving fatty bad-for-me foods.  I did pretty well anyway.. although I did splurge a bit this weekend.


   Back to back on track again tomorrow.  At least I'm learning not to kill myself with guilt when I DO splurge, because I know that as a general principle, my eating habits are as a rule... pretty damn good these days.  I've actually stopped marking down every single thing I eat.  I have a good idea of where I need to be, and I stick to it without the constant monitoring.  I'm pretty proud of that actually.


   I used my health insurance this week thanks to my sinus infection, and while in the Doctor's office, I had them do a blood draw to check my thyroid finally.  I don't know the results yet, if I haven't heard from them by the end of the week I'll call to see if the results are in.  Since it's technically an "urgent care" facility and not a standard primary care physician's, I don't think they do the same kind of follow-up "your results are in" kind of call unless there's a major problem... plus since this was the first week of school, I know they've been completely swamped with school physicals and boosters.  I'll check in next week to see what the results are.


    Aside from that.. I'm still struggling with some of my emotional stuff.  Struggling in ways and depths that have surprised me.  Tomorrow I have my first ever massage.  My tactic for that is still to think about it as little as possible.  Was contemplating it this evening and once again started to feel that rise of panic.


   I trust my masseuse.  I trust my therapist.  I trust that this is going to be a good thing.


  I just don't know if I 'm ready for the step that goes with it yet.




By this time tomorrow though... maybe I'll feel differently.

1 comment:

  1. Remember that old saying, "If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always gotten"? Your stepping outside of your comfort zone by getting this massage will allow you to grow...and if you felt entirely ready for it you might not get as much out of it as you would otherwise. So I'm proud of you and I promise this is a great step toward becoming the woman you know you can be!

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